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Dear Haggard Student,

Does it ever feel as though your college professors are in control of your life? They teach you only what they think is important for you to learn. They dictate the terms to use for evaluating learning, not caring about whether or not the lesson is going to be useful or interesting to you. Worst of all, they also decide when you could go to sleep and when you’re supposed to keep your eyes open.

It’s that dreaded college essay, something you are expected to bring home almost every night of the week and turn in impressively written and neatly printed out at the time your professor deems appropriate. It’s not that you think the essay is useless. It’s just that you wish your professor had been more understanding that the average college student of the new millennium has more on his plate than he could really handle.

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  • Give up on your social life.
  • Give up on your social life.
  • Decide exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life because if you don’t, you’ll be putting all that tuition money to waste soon.

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